Once Upon a Honeymoon

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When our soci­ety went from “buy­ing to replace” to “buy to be happy”, the effect snow­balled over the decades with the force needed to keep from expe­ri­enc­ing a real exis­ten­tial crisis.

Once Upon a Hon­ey­moon is a 1956 musi­cal spon­sored film about a cou­ple wish­ing for a new home. It starts off with a group of angels who decide to help a cou­ple have a hon­ey­moon. The hus­band (Jeff) tries to write a song, while the wife (Mary) day­dreams about a new home, and imag­ines what it would be like to have the lat­est house­hold prod­ucts with the help of the angel. The angel then helps the man come up with a new song called “A Cas­tle in the Sky”.

The film was directed by Gower Cham­pion, and starred Vir­ginia Gib­son, Ward Ellis, Alan Mow­bray, Chick Chan­dler, Veron­ica Pataky and Rus­sell Hicks. In recent years the film has gained a small fol­low­ing, after it was mocked on the show Mys­tery Sci­ence The­ater 3000. It is in the pub­lic domain.


The Tropical Islands (WTF?!) Indoor Beach Resort

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If you were in Ger­many and had a giant for­mer Soviet mil­i­tary air­base in your back­yard, what would you do? Build an indoor trop­i­cal resort com­plete with white sandy beaches, palm trees and heaps of white tourists in Speedos, right? RIGHT!!!?? Well that’s exactly what happened.

The approx­i­mately 1181 feet long, 689 feet wide and 351 feet tall hangar designed to house air­ships that probs would’ve been used to kill heaps of peo­ple, is now the home of the Trop­i­cal Islands Resort. The lux­ury ‘beach’ get­away can accom­mo­date up to 6000 guests not includ­ing the 500 peo­ple who work their every­day. Through purely unnat­ural means, the joint is kept at a lovely 26 degrees cel­sius with around about 64% humidity.

Oh and btw, there’s snow out­side. Heaps of it. Cov­er­ing the mil­i­tary hangar which has a beach resort in it. In Ger­many, where else?.


Design for Dreaming, General Motors’ Futuristic High Camp

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Set at the 1956 Gen­eral Motors Motorama, this is one of the key Pop­u­luxe films of the 1950s, show­ing futur­is­tic dream cars and Frigidaire’s “Kitchen of the Future.”

Design for Dream­ing (1956) is a musi­cal spon­sored film about a woman (played by dancer and chore­o­g­ra­pher Tad Tad­lock; real name “Thelma Tad­lock”) who dreams about a masked man (dancer and chore­o­g­ra­pher Marc Breaux) tak­ing her to the 1956 Gen­eral Motors Motorama at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel and Frigidaire’s “Kitchen of the Future.” The entirety of the dia­logue is sung, though the actors do not move their lips to their char­ac­ters’ pre­re­corded voices.

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Design for Dream­ing has gained a small cult fol­low­ing, with some enjoy­ing it for its per­ceived camp value, and oth­ers enjoy­ing it for nos­tal­gic rea­sons. One promi­nent show­ing of the film was as a short fea­ture in a fifth-season episode of Mys­tery Sci­ence The­ater 3000 (MST3K).

The BBC doc­u­men­tary series Pandora’s Box by Adam Cur­tis made exten­sive use of clips from Design for Dream­ing, espe­cially in the title sequence. Some footage was also used in the music video for Peter Gabriel’s 1987 sin­gle “In Your Eyes”, Rush’s 1989 music video for “Super­con­duc­tor”, a 1989 com­mer­cial for the Nin­tendo Game Boy game Super Mario Land, a 1994 com­mer­cial for Power Mac­in­tosh, and in brief clips on an episode in the 2nd sea­son of Penn and Teller: Bull­shit. Clips were dis­played dur­ing Nine Inch Nails con­cert per­for­mances. Part of the film, with dia­logue, is played dur­ing the open­ing titles for The Hills Have Eyes. Some snip­pets (with­out dia­logue) are played in the video watched by Michael Dou­glas dur­ing his phys­i­cal in The Game and in the open­ing titles for The Step­ford Wives.


Santa Claus vs The Devil!

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This movie is like Santa Claus Con­quers the Mar­t­ian’s insane cousin. They obvi­ously tried to make this as appeal­ing to small chil­dren as pos­si­ble, but if any kid wasn’t creeped out by it I’d be sur­prised. Nearly every­thing about this is such night­mare fuel.

A bizarre flick from Mex­ico trans­lated by K. Gor­don Mur­ray for children’s mati­nees, in which Santa Claus is the envy of the CIA and avoids child labor laws by keep­ing his slaves in an orbital cas­tle over the North Pole. Cur­rently #44 on IMDB’s Bot­tom 100 of worst films, beat­ing out “Santa Claus Con­quers the Mar­tians” by a wide margin.

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The rea­son this movie was made, some say, was to bring the con­cept of Santa Claus to Mex­ico. At the time, Mex­ico had their own Christ­mas cel­e­bra­tions which were more reli­gious than sec­u­lar. The idea was that if Santa Claus was intro­duced to Mex­ico, it would help toy mar­ket­ing and increase sales. And it worked!

The movie got lost in obscu­rity until the 90’s when “Mys­tery Sci­ence The­ater 3000″ res­ur­rected it, mak­ing it a cult classic.

This is the Christ­mas spe­cial for the psy­cotronic generation!


TONETTA

Cana­dian musi­cian Tonetta is the sav­ior of lo-fi music. Free from the irony asso­ci­ated with chill­wave and shitgaze, he crafts poet­i­cally coarse tunes using what­ever equip­ment is avail­able, with lyrics like the raunchi­est pas­sages of a William S. Bur­roughs novel. He has been record­ing these songs for nearly three decades.

While terms like “creepy” and “scary” come up with some fre­quency, Tonetta clearly offers some­thing peo­ple are miss­ing in their increas­ingly pre­dictable lives, whether they know it or not, or care to admit.

Tonetta’s rede­f­i­n­i­tion of “guilty plea­sure” isn’t sim­ply a mat­ter of per­mis­sion, of allow­ing an audi­ence to have a good time with­out any of the atten­dant and bor­ing remorse: He gives him­self permission.

Keep in mind that it’s being deliv­ered by a man in his early 60s, with a platinum-blond wig screwed to his head as he shakes his mon­ey­maker for the cam­era in his Toronto apartment.

Equally cool and dis­turb­ing, this is Tonetta, one Tony Jef­frey, an artist, song­writer, per­former, and con­ta­gious force of nature. In a world of par­rots, Tonetta actu­ally lip-synchs to his own lyrics.

Any artist would give his eye­teeth for the kinds of com­ments that are reg­u­larly show­ered on Tonetta: “I’ve never had this feel­ing before… I’m hor­ri­fied but can’t seem to look away… like a car wreck.”

I’m blast­ing this and danc­ing in my under­wear! Tonetta con­nec­tion!!!” The most suc­cinct is also the most unde­ni­able, sim­ply stated: “This can­not be unseen.”


Shit Glitter

Gold Pills are part of the INDULGENCE range designed through the col­lab­o­ra­tion of Tobias Wong and Ju$t another Rich kid (Ken Court­ney) in 2005, who sug­gested “Like an addict, all I want is more. Like celebrity and celebrity cul­ture, demand for lux­ury items is com­pletely cre­ated.” As an exten­sion of our obses­sion with fame, celebrity, and com­modi­ties, they designed a line of lux­ury objects: INDULGENCES (for the man who has absolutely every­thing). INDULGENCES addressed the cre­ation of and demand for the unnec­es­sary, directly com­ment­ing on the ever-expanding mar­ket of lux­ury items in our culture.

This Christ­mas why don’t you get your loved ones a lit­tle gold pill that will make them shit glit­ter. Yes, this lit­tle pill is dipped in gold and filled with 24-karat-gold leaf. It’s sup­posed to make your caca all glit­tery and shiny. Too bad it costs $425.

If you’ve got so much money that you’re just look­ing for new ways to waste it, we bring you the Gold Pill for you. It’s a pill dipped in gold and filled with 24-karat gold leaf. You’re sup­posed to eat it “to increase your self-worth.” That would be funny if it didn’t cost $425 for the joke. Sup­pos­edly an added ben­e­fit is that it will make your poop sparkle, but no one seems to have proven that part yet (and if you do, please don’t send us the pic­tures). This is either genius social com­men­tary or a bril­liant way to bilk rich peo­ple out of their money.


Bart Huges’ Trepanation

On Jan­u­ary 11th, 1965, at an art hap­pen­ing in Amsterdam’s Dam Square, failed med stu­dent turned New Age med­ical rev­o­lu­tion­ary Bart Huges slowly began to uncover his self-inflicted head wound. Though his audi­ence was com­posed of some of the groovi­est, most psychedelically-minded peo­ple in Europe, few could have been pre­pared for what lay beneath the thirty-two meters of day-glo sur­gi­cal gauze: a gap­ing, pul­sat­ing hole bor­ing directly into the outer lay­ers of Huges’ brain!

Fol­low­ing you can see A Hole In The Head, an hour long doc­u­men­tary about trepa­na­tion – the process of bor­ing a hole in the skull.

The doc­u­men­tary film exam­ines the devel­op­ment of ‘mod­ern’ trepa­na­tion as used by peo­ple in the United King­dom, The United States, and The Nether­lands for the pur­pose of attain­ing a higher level of con­scious­ness. This pro­ce­dure, used by the ancient Egyp­tians, Incas, and oth­ers, is believed by the vol­un­tar­ily trepanned to allow for renewed brain pul­sa­tions that increase brain blood vol­ume and thereby improve brain func­tion. Inter­views regard­ing the his­tory and effi­cacy of the pro­ce­dure are also held with some of the world’s most respected neu­ro­sur­geons and anthropologists.